For those o' ye who be asleep last night: I be pollin' 84 votes. Last place, mateys, but as I be sayin' back then, I not be givin' a damn. Why? Because in the last couple o' weeks, I be havin' a grand time. I be makin' thousands o' people smile. I be tourin' London wi' a toy duck on me head. An' I be havin one hell of a story t' tell.

So thank ye all, from th' bottom o' me heart. Thank ye t' the Returnin' Officer an' his team, an all those at th' count. Thank ye t' everyone online who be passin' th' word on, an' who be leavin' wonderful comments on Facebook an' Twitter. Thank ye t'all th' folks I be meetin' in person, an' t' those who sent emails (an' in one case, actual physical mail!) wishin' me well. An' thank ye t' the other candidates who be, as they say, such good sports.

Here's why it were all worth it, me hearties:

This be the announcement o' me result. Hear that cheer afterwards? That not be just from me own supporters, like the other candidates, an' it not just be one or two folks: that be from all around th' count hall. From th' left, th' right, an' everywhere in between. It be a grand couple o' weeks, an' that cheer brought home what were most important: havin' fun an' gettin' laughs.

A few loose ends t'tie up, then:

• A couple o' folks be askin' if they can donate t'me campaign, t'help me with me lost deposit. That be warmin' th' cockles o' me heart - but there be much worthier causes out there! Talk Like A Pirate Day be workin' wi' Marie Curie Cancer Care; I also be a great fan o' Childline. Put a few doubloons towards either o' them, me hearty, an' it be doin' far more good than' supportin' a bloke wi' a duck on his head.
• What be th' bloke behind th' eyepatch up to next? A dozen things, as usual, me hearties: me web site or Twitter be th' best place t'keep track. Mad Cap'n Tom, on the other hand, definitely be steppin' back out o' th' limelight fer a good while.
• And no, t'answer one question from last night - there not be a chance that I ever be doin' this again.

So with that, I be droppin' th' pirate accent, hangin' up me tricorn hat, an' givin' Brian th' Duck some much needed rest.

It be goodnight from me, and it be goodnight from Brian. Fare thee well, mateys, an' I wish ye all fair winds an' smooth sailin'!

"Was it fun?" asked a friend.

Yes. Yes it was. And that makes it all worth it.

Analysis can wait 'til tomorrow. I be off t'sleep.

Remember, me hearties - th' polls be open until 10pm, ye not be needin' yer pollin' card, an' if ye forgettin' t'send off yer postal ballot, ye can drop it into yer local polling station. Oh, and it be official - goin' t' vote dressed as a pirate be absolutely fine.

See ye at th' count!

That not just be a bad pirate joke, me hearties, it be true. On this, th' final day o' th' campaign, I be plannin' t' do a grand finale in Trafalgar Square - but that be filled wi' tourists, not locals, so when one grand member o' me crew be offerin' t' show me round th' Barbican Estate instead, it be a very quick decision indeed!

I tell ye this, mateys: I ne'er be campaignin' anywhere so friendly. Two folks be stoppin' me an' recognisin' me; someone be wishin' me good luck as I went on me way; an' I be usin' up more leaflets than I could be carryin'. Churchill Gardens were fast t'leaflet, but this be so much faster. An' th' architecture! Some be seein' it as a carbuncle, but as I be wanderin' th' highwalks, admirin' th' views from above, I not be agreein' wi' them. It be stark, but it also be beautiful.

Today be th' last day o' campaignin' - traditionally, the candidates all be restin' on pollin' day, an' I be seein' no reason t'change that. Tomorrow - wherever ye be in th' country an' whoever ye be votin' for, just be sure t'have yer say.

Well, more'n a thousand, mateys, but if I be honest I be losin' count. Welcome t'the Churchill Gardens estate, me hearties; thousands o' homes stacked atop one another, an' one o' the biggest public housing projects this sceptred isle ever be undertakin'. An' I be climbin' up an' down most o' its stairs today - not all, mind, there be some spots that I not be catchin' yet - but most o' the homes here now be havin' one o' me leaflets!

I be bloody knackered, me hearties, but it be worth it. Why? Well, first o' all, because th' view from th' top o' those blocks o' flats be stunning. But mainly, it be because I be meetin' people. First o' all, I be meetin' the Lib Dems, who also be leaflettin' part o' it - one o' their council candidates be havin' a photo with me. Even their large team not be coverin' as much ground as me an' Brian the Duck have today, though!

But among th' many residents I be bumpin' into, I be meetin' a lady who be knowin' about me campaign already - an' she be most entertained. She be invitin' me in t'meet her family, an' we be talkin' fer a while - an' not about policies or serious things, either, like a proper politician be havin' to. That be the real reason I be doin' this matey: more than losin' a bet, more than wantin' t'win me deposit back: I be tryin' t'make people laugh.

And wouldn't ye know it, I appear t'be succeedin'.

It be a horrible side effect o' this campaign, mateys - after thousands o' leaflets, dozens o' emails, an' a few interviews in character, occasionally this pirate alter-ego o'mine be takin' over a little too much. I be findin' meself failin' t' conjugate verbs properly in more serious emails that I be writin'! Still, I not be able t'worry about that: wi' just three days 'til votin', the campaign be steppin' up. It be time t'leaflet th' council estates o' Pimlico, t'spend time wi' the tourists in Trafalgar Square, an' get ready fer the count.

Game on, me hearties. Game on.

(Oh - an' apparently I be leaflettin' Margaret Thatcher's house th' other day. Sadly, she weren't in at th' time.)

The Cap'n had a rather big night last night. He seems to be rather grumpy this morning, and is having difficulty getting out of bed. I'm not sure why. I found these pictures on his camera. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing them.

Join me if ye wish, mateys! Islington Academy, doors at 10:30, £8/£10 on the door.

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Two interviews today, matey - first wi' Asylum, a "men's lifestyle" web site run by AOL. That be on video, an' somehow be managin' to combine both "confrontational" an' "tongue-in-cheek". Well done t'the interviewer there! Second up: I be courtin' th' all-important student vote wi' a radio an' newspaper interview at Imperial College! They just be within me constituency, an' IC Radio be broadcastin' what they recorded about 6:30pm tonight. I be postin' both o' those here if I be able.

Also, blimey - I be on th' UK home page fer BBC News! That not be happenin' every day. Brian be most offended by "plastic duck", until I be pointin' out that in truth he be mostly polyester, which technically be a plastic. Thank ye also t' Crave at CNET an' th' b3ta newsletter (again!) fer mentionin' me.

Six days, me hearties, until X marks th' spot!

[Edited t' add: The Register be coverin' th' story too, in their usual mostly-trollin' manner!]

Here be a ink t' the whole article! They be th' first t'make a "duckhouse" reference so far,

Today: leaflettin' in Paddington! (Not th' bear, y'understand. Just the region. I not be sure how ye be leaflettin' in Paddington Bear, an' I not be sure I wish to either.)