Ahoy, me hearty. I be Mad Cap'n Tom, an' I be runnin' as the prospective independent MP fer th' Cities o' London and Westminster. Really. If all goes well, I be genuinely on the ballot paper as 'Mad Cap'n Tom', an' on May 6th, X be markin' the spot.

Why?

I be losin' a bet.

Fer the last few years, I be runnin' th' British part o' International Talk Like A Pirate Day, an' so I already be havin' th' costume, th' hat, an' - most importantly - the duck on me head. (It be mighty difficult t'get a parrot in Westminster.)

What are your policies?

Me manifesto be laid out in full on me web site. I believe it the promises within t'be as reasonable an' realistic as many of the others made in modern politics.

Why the Cities of London and Westminster?

It be me home turf - when I not be sailin' th' seven seas, y'understand!

Are you actually hoping to get elected?

Let's just say this, me hearty: the Cities o' London an' Westminster be one o' the safest Conservative seats in the country. It be takin' a bloody miracle fer anyone t'get elected who not be wearin' a blue rosette. I be a pragmatist, after all.

How can I help?

Spread th'word, matey! Join th' Facebook page an' invite yer friends; keep in touch on Twitter. An', if ye be able an' registered in Westminster, when May 6th be comin' along, put an X next to me name. Don't forget that th' deadline fer registration be Tuesday 20th April; if ye not be on th' list by then, ye not be able t'have a say - so register!

How can I get in touch with you?

Email me at capntom@yarr.org.uk an' I should be gettin' back t'ye forthwith.

Thank ye kindly, me hearties, an' smooth sailin t'ye!