For those o' ye who be asleep last night: I be pollin' 84 votes. Last place, mateys, but as I be sayin' back then, I not be givin' a damn. Why? Because in the last couple o' weeks, I be havin' a grand time. I be makin' thousands o' people smile. I be tourin' London wi' a toy duck on me head. An' I be havin one hell of a story t' tell.

So thank ye all, from th' bottom o' me heart. Thank ye t' the Returnin' Officer an' his team, an all those at th' count. Thank ye t' everyone online who be passin' th' word on, an' who be leavin' wonderful comments on Facebook an' Twitter. Thank ye t'all th' folks I be meetin' in person, an' t' those who sent emails (an' in one case, actual physical mail!) wishin' me well. An' thank ye t' the other candidates who be, as they say, such good sports.

Here's why it were all worth it, me hearties:

This be the announcement o' me result. Hear that cheer afterwards? That not be just from me own supporters, like the other candidates, an' it not just be one or two folks: that be from all around th' count hall. From th' left, th' right, an' everywhere in between. It be a grand couple o' weeks, an' that cheer brought home what were most important: havin' fun an' gettin' laughs.

Election_Result_Announcement.mp3 Listen on Posterous

A few loose ends t'tie up, then:

• A couple o' folks be askin' if they can donate t'me campaign, t'help me with me lost deposit. That be warmin' th' cockles o' me heart - but there be much worthier causes out there! Talk Like A Pirate Day be workin' wi' Marie Curie Cancer Care; I also be a great fan o' Childline. Put a few doubloons towards either o' them, me hearty, an' it be doin' far more good than' supportin' a bloke wi' a duck on his head.
• What be th' bloke behind th' eyepatch up to next? A dozen things, as usual, me hearties: me web site or Twitter be th' best place t'keep track. Mad Cap'n Tom, on the other hand, definitely be steppin' back out o' th' limelight fer a good while.
• And no, t'answer one question from last night - there not be a chance that I ever be doin' this again.

So with that, I be droppin' th' pirate accent, hangin' up me tricorn hat, an' givin' Brian th' Duck some much needed rest.

It be goodnight from me, and it be goodnight from Brian. Fare thee well, mateys, an' I wish ye all fair winds an' smooth sailin'!

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"Was it fun?" asked a friend.

Yes. Yes it was. And that makes it all worth it.

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See ye at th' count!

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That not just be a bad pirate joke, me hearties, it be true. On this, th' final day o' th' campaign, I be plannin' t' do a grand finale in Trafalgar Square - but that be filled wi' tourists, not locals, so when one grand member o' me crew be offerin' t' show me round th' Barbican Estate instead, it be a very quick decision indeed!

I tell ye this, mateys: I ne'er be campaignin' anywhere so friendly. Two folks be stoppin' me an' recognisin' me; someone be wishin' me good luck as I went on me way; an' I be usin' up more leaflets than I could be carryin'. Churchill Gardens were fast t'leaflet, but this be so much faster. An' th' architecture! Some be seein' it as a carbuncle, but as I be wanderin' th' highwalks, admirin' th' views from above, I not be agreein' wi' them. It be stark, but it also be beautiful.

Today be th' last day o' campaignin' - traditionally, the candidates all be restin' on pollin' day, an' I be seein' no reason t'change that. Tomorrow - wherever ye be in th' country an' whoever ye be votin' for, just be sure t'have yer say.

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I be bloody knackered, me hearties, but it be worth it. Why? Well, first o' all, because th' view from th' top o' those blocks o' flats be stunning. But mainly, it be because I be meetin' people. First o' all, I be meetin' the Lib Dems, who also be leaflettin' part o' it - one o' their council candidates be havin' a photo with me. Even their large team not be coverin' as much ground as me an' Brian the Duck have today, though!

But among th' many residents I be bumpin' into, I be meetin' a lady who be knowin' about me campaign already - an' she be most entertained. She be invitin' me in t'meet her family, an' we be talkin' fer a while - an' not about policies or serious things, either, like a proper politician be havin' to. That be the real reason I be doin' this matey: more than losin' a bet, more than wantin' t'win me deposit back: I be tryin' t'make people laugh.

And wouldn't ye know it, I appear t'be succeedin'.

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It be a horrible side effect o' this campaign, mateys - after thousands o' leaflets, dozens o' emails, an' a few interviews in character, occasionally this pirate alter-ego o'mine be takin' over a little too much. I be findin' meself failin' t' conjugate verbs properly in more serious emails that I be writin'! Still, I not be able t'worry about that: wi' just three days 'til votin', the campaign be steppin' up. It be time t'leaflet th' council estates o' Pimlico, t'spend time wi' the tourists in Trafalgar Square, an' get ready fer the count.

Game on, me hearties. Game on.

(Oh - an' apparently I be leaflettin' Margaret Thatcher's house th' other day. Sadly, she weren't in at th' time.)

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The Cap'n had a rather big night last night. He seems to be rather grumpy this morning, and is having difficulty getting out of bed. I'm not sure why. I found these pictures on his camera. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing them.

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Join me if ye wish, mateys! Islington Academy, doors at 10:30, £8/£10 on the door.

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Two interviews today, matey - first wi' Asylum, a "men's lifestyle" web site run by AOL. That be on video, an' somehow be managin' to combine both "confrontational" an' "tongue-in-cheek". Well done t'the interviewer there! Second up: I be courtin' th' all-important student vote wi' a radio an' newspaper interview at Imperial College! They just be within me constituency, an' IC Radio be broadcastin' what they recorded about 6:30pm tonight. I be postin' both o' those here if I be able.

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Six days, me hearties, until X marks th' spot!

[Edited t' add: The Register be coverin' th' story too, in their usual mostly-trollin' manner!]

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Here be a ink t' the whole article! They be th' first t'make a "duckhouse" reference so far,

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Some of 'em waffled. (Some did not.) Some of 'em not be the best at speakin' into the microphone. (Some be bloody excellent.) But all of 'em be tied to one thing: a sense o' reality. Me? The audience were on me side from the start, an' I be gettin' plenty o' laughs -- not enough t'disrupt th' proceedin's, but enough that I be breakin' up what could otherwise be quite a slow an' dull event.

But alas, there be a couple o' times where I let ye down, me hearties: I be sorry t'report that -- accidentally an' shockin'ly -- I be makin' a couple o' sensible points.

I not be able t'help it, see. A few o' the audience's questions came a bit close t'me heart, matey, an' fer a couple o' seconds th' pirate jokes slipped away. When an audience member be askin' if state schools should be separated on faith, I be forced t'answer no, an' give a heartfelt reasonin' fer why. (That be gettin' me a round o'applause.) An' when one o' the other candidates be proclaimin' against gay marriage, sayin' that marriage should just be fer producin' children, well, me hearties, I had t'ask him in response whether he be requirin' couples t'take fertility tests an'all. It be a cheap shot, but sometimes those be the best ones.

Afterwards, a couple o' folks be comin' over t'say... well, not that they be votin' fer me, but that if only we be havin' Single Transferable Vote I might be gettin' a low number next t'me name. That be enough!

Still, it not be every day that someone like meself be invited t' have drinks an' sandwiches wi' the Revd George R. Bush, Rector o' St. Mary-Le-Bow Church. He be a grand bloke indeed! It were - fer want o' a better word - a very British, genteel Hustings afterparty. The candidates be millin' around, drinkin' some startlin'ly good homemade lemonade, talkin' politics an' such. It be a grand way t'end what, frankly, were a bloody excellent Hustings.

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The Daily Express be managin' t'find time t'write a brief feature about me an' some other less-conventional candidates today, in between their busy schedule o' slaggin' off Nick Clegg an' scarin' old people. Welcome t'those Express readers who be wishin' t'find out more! (Both o' ye.)

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...but I've made a new friend. Hello friend.

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Just down from St. Paul's, in the heart o' the City, lies St. Mary-Le-Bow Church - the very place from where th' Bow Bells ring out. On Tuesday at 1pm, there be a Hustings: the candidates fer MP in London an' Westminster be there t'answer questions, an' Mad Cap'n Tom be amongst them. Even if ye not be votin' fer the Cap'n, it be a grand idea t'turn up and find out what be goin' on!

Bring yer friends - pirate dress definitely not required. I not be huntin' fer a scurvy rabble-rousin' crew here, just folks t'be vaguely on me side in th' audience! Th' Facebook event be here.

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I be out leaflettin' today, an' who should I bump into but th' Tories! They be havin' a nice stall set up an' everythin'.

The man on th' left be th' Conservative candidate (an' MP since 2001) for me constituency. We be havin' a very brief chat, an' while I not be an expert in body language, I be gettin' a sense that he be thinkin' "get the prat with the duck away from me". That might just be me imagination though.

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Blimey, I be honoured: Radio 4's excellent News Quiz be givin' me a brief shoutout today. I hope they not be mindin' me addin' an extract here; the full show be in their podcast!

madcapntom-newsquiz.mp3 Listen on Posterous

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A productive couple o' hours around the City today - plus a breakfast interview wi' Colourful Radio an' a chat wi' a grand couple o' freelance journalists. I be botherin' a whole wunch o' bankers near St. Paul's today, but I'll tell ye this much, matey - there be a strong link between how fancy yer suit is an' how likely ye are t'shun a bloke in a pirate outfit.

There be three main reactions t'a pirate offerin' ye a leaflet:

1. Th' Smile and Accept. By far the most common in residential areas, but startlin'ly rare when there be moneyed folks about.
2. Th' No Thank You. Courteous, polite, but clear. I be respectful o' this.
3. Th' Complete Blank. This be what most folks in suits do, matey: they be refusin' t'acknowledge me existence. Harsh indeed.

Still, at least I be makin' the effort - even if, from now on, I be concentratin' on friendlier waters. Except for the Hustings, o'course: that be comin' up on Tuesday. There be many a serious candidate goin' up on that stage, mateys... an' one bloke wi' a duck on his head.

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More'n five miles walked round Fitzrovia an' Marylebone t'day, matey, an' hundreds o' leaflets given out - an' I be bloody tired! But the message be gettin' out there - even in more reputable places, like, say, th' Guardian!

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Full details an' tour dates be here. I be lookin' fer leafleteers, cheerleaders an' photographers an' all!

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Pimlico be the destination fer today, matey - from Cubitt's white columns t' Powell an' Moya's blocks an' stairways. I be gettin' a much friendlier reception in th' latter, it must be said; an', if ye'll forgive a touch o' pride, I be gettin' a couple o' folks who ne'er be votin' before t' head o'er t' the City Hall on this, th' deadline day fer registration.

In other news: Mad Cap'n Tom On Tour be launchin' tomorrow: I be pickin' dates an' locations fer me campaignin', an' asking ye to turn up an' help if ye be free! More on that soon...

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